Published on Fuller Seminary’s Burner Blog for Pastors and Leaders.

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by Marcus J. Carlson

The Church M & M’s

I did not really grow up in the church, nor was my family particularly religious. Shortly after I came to know Christ, my dad was able to experience the same. He eventually became involved in his local church and served on a church board for a short time. I recall sometime during my college or ministry career he decided to give me some advice about the church. He said to me, “Marcus, always watch out for the church M&M’s.” I asked him what he meant and he replied, “music and money.” Years later, I find myself not only repeating that advice, but I continue to see it as well. I would probably amend it to add ‘building’ to the list as well.

Certainly in the church, we all have the issues we are passionate about, the ones that are the most important and meaningful to us. Additionally, we also seem to have things we are most passionate against, whether rooted in theology, personality or fear. Often times, we are known more for what we are against than what we are for, which is unfortunate.

I have always wondered what it is about these two or three things (music, money and buildings) that stirs up the most passion and conflict in the church. While Jesus spoke quite a bit about money, he did not address the other two much and the way he talked about money does not seem to relate to the issues we tend to have in the church around money. Certainly when it comes to money, we need to be good stewards and be sure to both spend and save wisely. In my own home, I know we have different budget priorities and sometimes disagree, but not at the same level that can occur in the church. I remember one member of a board guarding a building maintenance fund that was exceptionally healthy as if it were the last twenty dollars he had to live on. It is interesting that in the church we ask our people to be generous, but struggle with having a positive posture towards money.

I have seen more angst over music in the church than any other issue: conflict, pain, people leaving the church – all over music. It has also been the source of the most passive-aggressive behavior I have seen in the church: from controlling music directors to ornery ones and everything in between. Then there is the drama and disagreement that comes in contemporary worship, in the congregation and the teams. It is always shocking to me that one of the most worshipful acts in our services can so easily become a source of contention and a distraction. Certainly our worship matters, and I love music and those who lead it, but it might just be one of the most divisive aspects of church life today.

Buildings also seem to create a lot of passion, much as our own homes might. It is good to care for our buildings and make good decisions, but most issues in churches around the building have to do with where or where not to place chairs and where you can and cannot drink coffee. Sometimes we treat our churches more like a museum than a home, care or community center than they probably should be.

What are you passionate about in the church? Does it align with the priorities of Jesus? Are you reflecting scripturally and theologically about it? It might be good to examine our own priorities and places of passion, especially before being critical of others.

Published on Fuller Seminary’s Burner Blog for Pastors and Leaders.

Read the Article here

by Marcus J. Carlson

My love-hate Relationship with the Lectionary

I have a confession. I have a love-hate relationship with the lectionary. I have served mostly in denominational churches and in the past decade I have had to develop a relationship with the lectionary to some level (whether completely or partially). I believe there are some benefits as well as some drawbacks to the lectionary, which combined with my own theology, personality, gifts and styles has led me to this love-hate relationship with the lectionary.

There are many benefits to the lectionary; the first benefit is that it helps a pastor and a church cover the whole breadth of scripture over several years. While it does not hit every verse, it is very comprehensive which is not easy to accomplish when planning on your own. It is easy to become monotonous or focus only on your favorite scriptures or topics, which is another benefit of the lectionary. The lectionary is also helpful because it is seasonal in the sense that it honors the church seasons and helps bring them to light. Unfortunately, have lost sight of many of the church seasons in a lot of churches. The lectionary also reduces the workload of choosing scriptures. Additionally, there is also the historical value of the lectionary, both in its formation and selection. We have a tendency to only value the new, which in the case of the church is a huge mistake, especially when we as individuals pick and choose what parts of our history as a church we pay attention to. The final benefit of the lectionary is the three-year rotation that allows you to visit some of the same scriptures. You might focus on a different lesson from the last time you preached it, but the word of God is alive and there is always something new to glean in a variety of seasons of life and ministry. This can be a problem if you end up repeating sermons over and over again, which I do not see as right, but have seen many pastors do. These are some of the reasons that I love the lectionary.

There are also some drawbacks to the lectionary; the first drawback is that it causes a lack of freedom for preaching, the pastor and the church. More importantly, it is not always contextual, meaning it does not always fit your context, the people of your church and community and what is happening at any given time in church or culture, not that this should always dictate the sermon. The lectionary can also be forced. I have had countless times while preaching the lectionary where I have found it very difficult to pick a lesson that I could preach with passion and make relevant, and so I probably did so with less quality. It can also create a sense of preaching laziness. I once had a teenager complain to me about the sermons at a church I served, saying, “I have been here my whole life and I have heard this same sermon three times.” I think this is unfortunate and wrong on many levels. The lectionary can lack freshness and relevance, which should not be too important, but should matter some as we lead our people into a deeper, life-changing relationship with God. The final drawback of the lectionary in my mind is that it can be too academic. It is rooted more in an academic and perhaps liberal approach to scripture than it is in a relational, transformative approach. This can be hard for congregations to find meaning in something they cannot understand.

At the end of the day, I have found it all depends on your context, but my personal approach is to use a combination of the lectionary and sermon series. I don’t pick and choose which scriptures to use each week, but I rather do it several weeks at a time to create connections and consistency. I think the lectionary is exceptionally helpful on special church days (Pentecost, Ash Wednesday etc) and during some of the special seasons such as Lent and Advent.

Book Review

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Book Review

NIV Integrated Study Bible

The NIV Integrated Study Bible is an interesting Bible that offers a fresh look at the story of God that unfolds throughout scripture. It takes a chronological approach, meaning it orders not only the books of the Bible in order of their historical occurrence, but also individual passages as well. The entire Bible is chronological.

This Bible will be especially helpful to those who want to engage in deeper study of the scriptures. The chronological approach is fascinating, because it puts books and passages in order of their occurrence, not necessarily their writing. It also splits books and passages to place them in their historical location. One of the most helpful and fascinating aspects of this Bible is that it also puts similar passages together. This is most noticeable and helpful in the gospels as similar or identical passages are listed side by side. In addition to this, you see passages from other books or even different testaments side by side when they are related or connected to one another. For me, this was the best feature of this Bible and the most enhancing to my onw study. One critique I would offer of this Bible is that it is called a study Bible, but does not provide a lot of points of information or study. Certainly its chronological approach aids study and the introductions to books and parts of this Bible are helpful, but I also would have expected some study points throughout.

I would recommend this Bible as a great resource for study for anyone who wants to dive deeper into the scriptures, especially those who are most interested in history and timelines. I would not recommend it as a first Bible, however as it is so different from the standard Bible that most may be used to.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze.com <http://BookSneeze.com> book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 <http://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/waisidx_03/16cfr255_03.html> : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Rev. Marcus J Carlson

Published on Fuller Seminary’s Burner Blog for Pastors and Leaders.

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by Marcus J. Carlson

Foot Washing: A Model for Leadership in the Church

Over the years in my own ministry, the story of the foot washing in the Gospel of John is the most important image from Scripture that casts a vision for what it means to lead and serve. The power and implications of this text are far too deep and wide to fully examine in this article, but it is a text that all Christ-followers, especially those serving in ministry leadership positions, should carefully examine and reflect upon. I have enjoyed utilizing foot-washing services in a variety of venues throughout my ministry, most often on mission trips. During the service, I personally go around the room and wash the feet of each and every service participant. After washing their feet, I take some time to pray for them. I also invite the participants to participate in what I call ‘open bucket time.’ I tell them that they can use the next several moments to continue to pray, but also if they desire to wash one another’s feet. Some of my most meaningful moments as a Christ-follower, leader and pastor have happened during this time. The power, humility and intimacy of this act is overwhelming. I cannot take credit at all for this service or this model, as I am simply imitating what Christ did in the upper room for His disciples. We are simply honoring his call to ‘wash one another’s feet.’ This moment in the upper room is one of the most intimate moments in Scripture. Foot washing is a powerful imitation of Christ. It is the physical expression of what our lives as Christ-followers should be. It is the image of what service and leadership are to be. Our culture is perhaps more isolated, narcissistic and entitled than ever before, yet we desperately crave community. We need meaning and significance, we need to be a part of something that is bigger than ourselves, and we need to know that what we do and who we are makes a difference in the world. In this simple act of foot washing, Jesus gives us an answer to all of these challenges and needs and as long as our heart is focused on the God of the universe who got down on his hands and knees and washed the feet of his disciples, we will find an answer to all these needs and more. We will find a model for discipleship, service and leadership that can and will change the world.

I am in awe every time I stop to reflect on what that evening with the disciples must have been like: an intimate meal, the last one together, a celebration of the Passover. A foot washing service must have been one of the most humbling moments these disciples who had grown so close in their travel and ministry together could possibly experience. It was an indication of a betrayal and a hint that what they had experienced over the past several years was coming to an end, as was the life of Jesus. Then Jesus offers them the bread and the cup, a fitting end to this powerful evening, a symbol of his life and death and a practice that would bring the disciples and the church back to Christ over and over again. When I think about the notion that Jesus would get on his hands and knees to wash the dirty feet of the disciples I am in awe. When I reflect on what it must have meant to those gathered in the upper room given all they had experienced and were experiencing that night, I am brought to tears.

As a Christ-follower, leader, and pastor, there is no greater act for me than to get down on our hands and knees and wash the feet of those we love, serve with, and lead as we all seek to be imitators of our Lord Jesus Christ. The foot washing is more than just a powerful moment to be imitated; it is a model and vision for service, mission and leadership in the church and the world.

Published in Connections Magazine (September/October 2013)

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faith and family

Spiritual Disciplines and Family

by Marcus J. Carlson

The focus of this issue is the spiritual disciplines. It’s a topic I am passionate about, both as a spiritual director and as it relates to my own faith journey. As I reflect on the nature of the spiritual disciplines, I am reminded that the disciplines are expressed and experienced in three ways: personally (personal devotion), communally (the church, etc.), and societally (caring for the poor, etc.). Christendom as we know it in North America tends to focus on one over the other two, with the more conservative end of the spectrum focused on personal devotion and piety and the more liberal end of the spectrum most focused on the societal aspect, namely social justice.

In our highly individualistic society, we have all neglected the communal aspect of our faith and the spiritual disciplines, even in the midst of our deeper need of and craving for community. To assume that one is more important than the other or that one is less valuable would be a mistake. It is also not about balance, as balance is not a principle that we find Jesus promoting. Rather, it is recognizing that each aspect matters and should be experienced as a part of our spiritual life.

Another challenge we face as it relates to the spiritual disciplines, particularly as Lutherans, is an incomplete theological perspective on the disciplines. Many in Lutheran circles see the spiritual disciplines as “works” that are not necessary for that faith. They dismiss the disciplines as a works theology that does not honor our best understanding of grace. This thinking, although understandable, fails in my opinion. Jesus was constantly pointing and calling people to the Father, and being present both with Him and the Father. Jesus Himself practiced the disciplines: praying, fasting, studying the Scripture and going to the temple. Martin Luther, with whom we identify as the source of our tradition, practiced the disciplines rigidly throughout his life, even after his powerful experience that transformed his understanding of grace.

The spiritual disciplines are a means of grace. They help us to form habits that enhance our relationship with God and cause us to engage God more fully in every moment. As we practice the disciplines, we become more conscious of God— and that leads to transformation. The nature of discipleship is to listen, learn and grow. The spiritual disciplines are one of the ways that we can express and experience discipleship. I know there are many habits in my life that can easily take my focus off of God. As I increase those habits that cause me to focus on God, those that do not are crowded out by the healthier, Christ-focused habits.

I suggest that everyone practice the spiritual disciplines on a regular basis. For those new to the disciplines, I suggest reading material by Richard Foster or Dallas Willard on this topic to gain a basic, but deep and healthy understanding of the disciplines. There are many spiritual disciplines that we can engage with and practice, and there is much wonderful material available that explains each of these disciplines. As I have read material on this subject, I have found that some books consider far too few things in their list of spiritual disciplines, while others consider far too many practices to be spiritual disciplines.

As with many issues related to our life and faith, we should look to the Scripture as a guide. The best basic list of the disciplines can be found in Richard Foster’s Celebration of Discipline. There he lists the following 12 disciplines: meditation, prayer, fasting, study, simplicity, solitude, submission, service, confession, worship, guidance and celebration.

As we each seek to practice the spiritual disciplines individually, communally and societally, I also suggest that the spiritual disciplines be encouraged and practiced as a family—regardless of what your family makeup might look like in this season of your life. Encouraging the individual practice of the disciplines, while also engaging in the communal and societal practice of the disciplines together, will be very life-giving to every member of your family and to your family as a whole. Being present together as a family is a gift; adding the disciplines to your time together is an even greater gift. I know this has been our experience, even though it has been difficult to form these habits and to be consistent in our practice of the disciplines as a family.

Below are some suggestions for any family (again of any makeup, in any season of life) to aid in the practice of the spiritual disciplines.

Individually

Hold each other accountable to daily prayer and reading of the Scripture.

Ask your children to read the Bible and/or devotional each day. We make it part of our own childrenʼs after- school homework time.

Ask each other where you have seen or experienced God on a regular basis.

Set aside time for daily practice of the disciplines as a model for others in your family.
Communally

Pray together regularly (at meals, morning, evening, when you hear emergency sirens, in the car, etc.).

Read the Scriptures together (at meals or a set time).

Talk about God together each day (again, in the car, at meals, etc.)

Regularly attend worship together, as well as other small group/discipleship groups/Bible studies.
Societally

Serve together, both through opportunities at and with your local church as well as other organizations.

Make service part of your family vacations.

Seek to love, serve and care for people in every setting in which you find yourself as a family: at the store, out to dinner, etc.

• Do something kind for someone in need in your school or neighborhood.

• Invite others to join in your family meals, holidays and celebrations.

My relationship with God has been transformed by the practice of the spiritual disciplines. As we have started practicing the disciplines as a family with greater consistency and passion, our family has experienced transformation as well.

The spiritual disciplines are a gift—they help us to focus on God and to create an even deeper relationship with Jesus Christ. The Holy Spirit desires to speak to each of our hearts, minds and lives, each and every moment. The more we practice the disciplines, the more that listening to the Holy Spirit will become a habit. God is always speaking, and the disciplines can help us to listen better.

Marcus J. Carlson

is an ordained pastor (LCMC & NALC), currently serving at St. Mark’s Lutheran Church, Auburn, IN. He is a spiritual director, professor, speaker, writer and consultant, with 15+ years experience in youth and family ministry. He and his wife, Jessica, have two children.

Book Review

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Book Review

Boundaries for Leaders by Dr. Henry Cloud

This is a must read book for all leaders in any organization. Henry Cloud has an amazing ability to write about leadership in a way that is both rich in theory and abundant in practice. Additionally, the issues that he addresses hit the key issues of leadership, particularly the relational side of leadership that is so critical today.

This book did not disappoint. In fact, Its probably one of the best books that Dr. Cloud has written on leadership. My one critique would be that he could have made his argument just as strongly in less pages. The focus of the book is on results and relationships, both of which matter. Many leaders tend to focus on one over the other. He also addresses the issue of authority, or being in charge. Dr. Cloud makes sure to reiterate the main point of the book throughout the book which is ‘leaders get what they create and what they allow.’ This has stuck with since I first read it and has shaped how I lead and will continue to lead. Rarely do we think about leadership culture, even though it is the most critical aspect of leadership outside of personal integrity. Most leaders are not good with boundaries, whether they do not set them for themselves or they fail to set them for others. This book addresses those issues in many ways. If leaders were to focus on leadership culture based on the main premise of this book, I think they would achieve greater health and results in their organizations. If we look at the toxic or negative aspects of our organization and consider what we have done or are doing that creates or allows these things to occur, we could address them with greater effectiveness. If we think about what we want to see in our organizations, we could carefully consider what we need to do in order to create and allow for those things to occur.

I strongly recommend this book for any leader who wants to change the culture or improve the relationships and results in the organizations in which they serve. This is a book that is helpful for all leaders in any setting, whether you have been leading for a day or for your lifetime.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze.com <http://BookSneeze.com> book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 <http://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/waisidx_03/16cfr255_03.html> : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Rev. Marcus J Carlson

Published in Connections Magazine (July/August 2013)

Learn about Connections here

faith and family

Dealing with Difficult Issues

by Marcus J. Carlson

Recently, I attended and spoke at an Early Childhood Educator conference. As I listened to a keynote speaker, something she said struck me—especially as I thought about life issues, the church, our children, youth and families. She said, “If you just teach kids the facts, they don’t own them and don’t understand them.” It was a succinct way to communicate a truth I have long believed and observed when working with children and youth.

There are many difficult life issues we face in our culture today: euthanasia, abortion, gay marriage, war, poverty, racism and much more. As Christ-followers and as the church, we have a responsibility to wrestle with these issues. In fact, regardless of position, the church should be a leader in creating healthy dialogue around these difficult issues. The challenge is that when the church does choose to respond, it is often late, and the dialogue is rarely healthy. As one of my undergraduate professors, Tony Campolo noted: “The church is the taillight of every social movement.” This is unfortunate, as the church should be a leader in these areas; instead, we have become as reactive and divisive as the secular institutions of our society.

One of the realities we face in the American church is that more than half of our regular active youth in our churches and youth groups will walk away from their faith after graduation. There are many reasons for this. I have seen many youth walk away from faith as they enter college or the workforce. As they face some of these difficult life issues, what they have been taught comes into tension with the reality they are facing.

For example, we might teach our children that abortion is wrong, and share with them the reasons from Scripture and our own spiritual, philosophical and political viewpoint. While there is nothing wrong with doing this, we do not often help our kids wrestle with these issues in light of these perspectives. Instead, we teach them the correct viewpoint and anticipate that they will accept it. It’s a normal temptation

that I face as a parent. I would rather tell my children what is right than have them learn it on their own. It seems quicker, easier and less painful for all involved. The challenge here is that if our children and youth do not wrestle with issues, they often do not own the resulting beliefs.

If I do all I can to teach my daughter that abortion is wrong in the eyes of God, her parents and the church, but don’t let her wrestle with the issue, she is less likely to hold on to the view. Not only that, she is also more likely to walk away from her faith when her view on abortion is challenged.

Imagine this scenario: my daughter goes off to college. Her roommate goes to a party. Someone slips a drug into one of her drinks that alters her judgment and control, and she engages in sexual intercourse that results in pregnancy. Her roommate cannot tell her parents about the baby because they will stop paying for college if they find out she is pregnant. She cannot afford to keep the baby, nor can she raise the child well as a college student. My daughter sees the pain of her roommate and has not wrestled with the difficulty of the issue of abortion itself. She tries to apply the view she has been taught to the situation, but being away from home, caring for her roommate and not knowing how to handle the situation, she abandons her view. She then begins to question all of her faith views, and wonders why God would allow this situation to happen. Whether quickly or slowly, she is at risk to walk away from God altogether.

I am not suggesting that my daughter accept abortion in this case, nor am I suggesting that every child and youth in our homes, ministries and churches experiences this. What I am suggesting is that if we do not allow our children and youth to wrestle with these difficult issues in the safety of our homes and churches, we are taking a significant risk. If we do not help them to wrestle with the Scripture, theology, philosophy, reality and humanity around each of these issues, then we are building a house on the sand and not on the rock.

It is easy to see these issues as matters of social justice or simple morality, but they are in fact issues of faith. The essence of faith is trust. Our one act is to trust God, to trust God’s salvation and then to grow in trust as we seek to trust Him in each area of our lives. If we focus on imparting doctrine instead of helping our children and youth wrestle and learn to trust God, then we are creating a faith that may not stand up to the pressures of culture and these difficult life issues that they will face.

As a parent, I often worry about how my children will turn out. As a result, I try to force them to act, believe and become a certain ideal. I admit that sometimes I try to convince them of a viewpoint that I hold (some very Biblical, some selfish), instead of providing them with good information and a safe place to wrestle with the issue. Many times this is simply an expression of my lack of trust in God and God’s truth. Truth can stand on its own. We need to recognize—as families and as the church—that it is much healthier for our children and youth to wrestle with us in our homes, churches and communities than it is to force them to wrestle when they are on their own.

My view is not a conventional one, yet it is also not contrary to my best understanding of Scripture. As parents and as the church, we do need to raise our children and youth in the ways of God and point them to truth. However, that does not mean we must teach them solely through convincing them of our viewpoint, even if it is good theology.

We can trust God. We can trust truth. We can help our children and youth wrestle with these difficult issues now, so that when they face them in life, their own view will be strong enough to stand up against the wind and waves that life will bring.

Published in Connections Magazine (May/June 2013)

Learn about Connections here

After earning my Masters in Theology, I decided to attend a nearby seminary to take courses for my Masters of Divinity Equivalent. In choosing to attend this seminary, I knew the theology of the seminary was not necessarily similar to my own, but I also believed I could maintain my integrity while attending this particular institution. Soon there were many experiences that made it very obvious that the theology of this institution was dramatically different from my own, one of which came in a class on weddings and funerals.

There were around 50 participants in the class. In the first session, we discussed what we believed marriage to be theologically. Of the professors, teaching assistants and students (40-50 people total), only three of us believed marriage to be a covenant. Furthermore, we were the only ones to believe marriage had anything to do with God at all. It did not take me long to decide to drop this course.

This incident is something that has stuck with me for years and has served as a powerful reminder of the significance of covenant. We have lost sight of covenant in the world today, both in our culture and in the church. Instead, we approach things in a transactional, consumeristic, business-minded way. The state of marriage in the United States—both inside and outside the church—is, as many view it, a dying institution.

Herein lies the problem: marriage was never meant to be an institution. Marriage is meant to be a relational covenant that is more about God than the married participants. While marriage makes the individual husband and wife stronger and creates a new, united flesh and spirit, marriage should not be limited to its human impact.

There are varying definitions of covenant. It is often treated as a contract that has the support of God, but this view is limited. We see covenant modeled throughout the Scriptures. Covenant starts with God, and it is not at all a contract. It is not something we earn, nor is it about our performance. Covenant is rooted in the character and nature of God and His presence in our lives. Covenant is about relationship.

Mike Breen in his book Covenant and Kingdom discusses covenant in a particular way, yet his definition and characterization of covenant applies to marriage as well. Breen sees covenant in terms of our relationship with God as well as our relationship with everyone else. For Breen, there are three essential elements of covenant: “the fatherhood of God, identity and obedience.” These three are linked as the fatherhood of God reminds us that our identity flows from our relationship with God, and obedience is simply consistently living out our identity in Christ.

As I think about marriage, it is clear first and foremost that marriage is about the character and nature of God. Marriage as a covenant is rooted in who Christ is and not who the individuals in the married couple are. Honoring the marriage covenant, God, one another and the one flesh we have become is simply an expression of who we are in Christ Jesus.

Marriage is not easy. Very few valuable and transformative things are. Relationships are messy and difficult. While we crave and need community, we struggle to understand what it means to live in community, especially in the midst of difficulty and disagreement. The average age for marrying is increasing, and fewer couples are choosing to get married. Divorce rates are consistently identical inside and outside of the church, and many marriages (inside and outside of the church) are dead—if not toxic. We have lost sight of the meaning, power and importance of covenant.

Covenant requires us to look outside of ourselves to Christ. Covenant requires us to find a way to build a relationship of deepening commitment and love in the midst of the joy, suffering and mundane seasons of life together. While it is much easier to walk away from community than it is to commit to it, we are called to the harder covenant task, especially in marriage.

While there are challenges to marriage, at its core marriage is much more a gift than it is a challenge. Covenant may be difficult, but covenant is ultimately not about us nor is it something we are meant to do alone. The gift of covenant is that it connects us to God and to one another. It forces us to rely on God and to look to Him for our identity. We do not have to make it work; we have to become more like Christ so that it will work, no matter what we experience.

In the covenant of marriage, both husband and wife can grow closer to God and one another. Each can begin to discover aspects of their identity in Christ that they would have not found without this amazing covenant gift of marriage.

We need a renewal of covenant in our lives, our marriages, our homes, our families and our churches. This renewal begins with us. The greatest gift of marriage to future generations is that it can be the powerful model of what healthy, Christ- centered covenant can be to our children.

One of the things I wrestle with frequently as a parent is modeling healthy Christian community to my children. I am not talking about sterile, perfect community, but rather authentic, honest, Christ-centered community. In marriage we experience moments of great joy and moments of deep pain. Marriage is riddled with success, failure, love, hurt, pain, joy, blessing, challenge, growth and community.

The marriage covenant models Christian community to our children as they watch and walk with us as we try to live out this great covenant call. Our children have the opportunity to see us succeed and fail as we try to walk with Christ in the good, the bad, the beautiful, the ugly and the mundane.

Our families can walk together in all of life’s moments and experiences in a way that is focused on our identity in Christ and our covenant relationship with God and one another. In marriage and family life we can figure out together what it means to live in community, be focused on Christ and committed to one another while focused on love.

It is time to reclaim covenant and to live our lives in our marriages, our families and our churches in a way that models the kind of community Christ died for. In living in covenant

relationship with one another, we can model a different way of living for our children and grandchildren that will change them—as well as change the world.

Marcus J. Carlson

is a pastor and spiritual director who has worked in youth and children’s ministry for over 13 years. He serves as Associate Pastor of Bethel Lutheran Church, Colorado Springs, CO. Marcus and his wife, Jessica, have two children.