Book Review

Published on Book Sneeze & Amazon

Review: Red Letter Christians

Red Letter Christians by Shane Claiborne and Tony Campolo

In this book Claiborne and Campolo engage in a dialogue covering a wide array of issues that we face in the world today. From the social, fiscal, theological and more Shane and Tony seek to discern what the words of Jesus really mean for followers of Christ today as we seek to find the abundant life Christ desires for us in a world filled with conflict and chaos. While not every topic that one could imagine is covered in this book, the most controversial and significant topics raised in the church and in culture in the past decade are addressed.

Having been able to interact with both Shane and Tony, as well as take a class from Tony at Eastern, I admit a personal bias towards this book at the outset. That said, I wanted to review this book carefully and critically. I do not agree with everything in this book. There are parts of this book that made me angry, others that created confusion and some that created discomfort. In this way, this book is very engaging. It is simple to read and understand. Shane and Tony give enough information to leave the reader satisfied, yet their dialogue also creates a desire for more thoughtful dialogue. While I did not agree with every perspective shared in this book, this is the book I have been waiting for. The church and our culture today is in desperate need of a book like this one, a book that is willing to tackle difficult issues through thoughtful, gracious dialogue. It reminded me of many conversations from my college years as well as conversations I continue to have today over coffee with those of a different or like mind. Jesus’ words are not intended to be a weapon, rather they are meant to be an example of how his followers are intended to live and exist in relationship with God, each other, and the world. This is a great read and I strongly urge every thoughtful follower of Christ to take the time to read it.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze.com <http://BookSneeze.com> book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 <http://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/waisidx_03/16cfr255_03.html> : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Rev. Marcus J Carlson

Published at Youthworker Online (A part of Youthworker Journal)

Read the online article here

I hate messy games. All of them. Messy games, gross games, crud wars, I hate all of it. It’s certainly a personal preference and belief, and I do not look down on my colleagues who engage with these kind of games and activities, but you won’t catch me leading one of these activities anytime soon (at least I hope). My problem with messy games is certainly based on personal preference, personality and experience, but there is more to it than that. So here are the seven reasons besides my own personal preference that I hade messy games.

#1 They are mess to clean up and can be unsafe. Youth ministry requires a lot of time and effort on the part of staff and volunteers. While we should be open to any task no matter how large or small, I am not sure the best use of our time is cleaning up messy games. I could have a conversation with a high school student about their calling or pray with a middle school youth instead of cleaning up chocolate sauce. These games can also be unsafe, whether it is the risk of choking on marshmallow bunnies or having an allergic food reaction, there is often a risk with these games that we do not think about.

#2 They are not edifying. Sure messy games are fun, but are they edifying? While I might enjoy slamming a student’s face with a rotten banana, rarely have I seen a messy or gross game or activity that edified. In fact, many of them embarrass. While not everything we do in youth ministry is or has to be edifying, I think it’s worth considering. The nature of living in community and the sarcastic tone of many youth groups bring enough challenge to edification that I am not convinced messy games are worth another.

#3 They leave out certain youth out. Realistically our students care a little too much about their clothing, but if we are playing messy games and a student is wearing a $100 pair of jeans and the $50 shirt that their parents worked four jobs to give them (just so they did not have to feel guilty about never being around) we instantly leave that student out (put their relationship with their parents at risk-or better yet, OUR relationship with their parents). These games also leave out youth who might get sick from these games and those with food and other allergies. I know that I have a hard enough time getting my youth to play games that won’t hurt or ruin their clothes. Sure, almost every game could exclude a youth, but shouldn’t we make our best effort not to do that? The more we leave youth out of games and other activities, the more we become one more place in their life where they cannot fit in.

#4 More often than not, they waste resources. While contradiction is a part of life and great for creating tension that incites learning, messy games can be too great a contradiction. One week we spend hundreds of dollars on supplies (food etc) that we use to smear all over each other and just a week later we are off to a third world country to serve people that receives less food in a month than we just wasted in the annual crud war. While I am sure Jesus’ disciples wasted some food after a meal, I doubt that the abuse of resources (again food in particular) fits in the Kingdom narrative. The idea that a messy game might help a kid come to Jesus is fine, but as my youth ministry professor, Duffy Robbins was fond of saying; ‘what you win them with is what you win them to.’ Is Jesus a fun, unpredictable, easy-going God? I sure hope so, however I am not sure that Jesus would prefer we waste $500 on an ice cream fight instead of using $500 to supply a homeless shelter with food for a week.

#5 They are immature. Youth workers hate that word, and for good reason. Misunderstanding often leads others to see youth ministry (as well as youth and youth workers) as immature. I recognize my own immaturity and accept it. That said, there is immaturity that makes sense in youth ministry (being playful, childlike etc) and immaturity that does not make sense (dating youth, car surfing etc). I would argue that most messy games fall in the immaturity-that-does-not-make-sense category. While messy games are fun, they are often more obnoxious than they are childlike. While immaturity is good from time to time, it should not be the primary mode of operation for our youth ministries. While adult maturity is overrated, a mature faith is not.

#6 They do not portray a healthy image of youth ministry.  This point may be redundant in light of the other reasons, however it’s not a point that I would want to miss either. There is so little that is healthy about our culture and the church today. With the changing nature of adolescence and the challenges that youth ministries across the North America face, ministry health is not ideal, it is essential. Creating an emotionally safe environment for youth and their parents builds the kind of trust that is necessary to lead the parents and youth of your church and community. While messy games usually end in a good laugh, they do nothing sustainable to create health in your ministry. Youth ministries must not look perfect, but they must be healthy enough that those who are sick would find healing rather than more illness.

#7 They are not rooted in theological reflection. Youth ministry must be a theological enterprise. Ministry leadership born out of personality, giftedness, program or philosophy alone is shallow. Everything that we say and do should have a theological basis, even though all human theology is imperfect. It is difficult to find a strong theological basis for messy games and activities. Having fun, relaxing, and letting go are all valuable and I believe that the promise of abundant life includes enjoyment, but messy games are not critical to enjoyment. If our theology is that messy games will bring students to Jesus, then I would suggest we need to reexamine our understanding of the person of Jesus Christ. If we are winning our kids to a Jesus who comes in the form of a 43 year old man trying to eat pudding and bananas through a stocking as a version of practical theology, then perhaps we need to spend some more time living in the scriptures.

I respect those who use messy, gross games and activities as a part of their ministry. While I personally do not enjoy or support these kind of activities, I believe we are called to work together in the midst of the diversity that exists in the kingdom of God. I would suggest however that we use discernment and caution before making messy games a staple of our ministries.

Rev. Marcus J Carlson has worked with children and youth for over 14 years and is a spiritual director. He current serves as Associate Pastor at Bethel Lutheran Church in Colorado Springs, CO. (marcusjcarlson.com).

Published at Youthworker Online (A part of Youthworker Journal)

Read the online article here

The ‘Us’ has become ‘Them’

I remember early on in my youth ministry career, besides being young, immature, arrogant and having a chip on my shoulder; I was also part of a mindset that seemed to be prevalent in youth ministry: the battle of ‘us’ verses ‘them.’ The us refers to youth workers and the them refers to the senior pastors, adults and others that just did not get youth ministry. It was not just the youth workers that were young that thought this way; you heard it from almost everyone in youth ministry. Mike Yaconelli was constantly critical of those in the ‘them’ crowd in the church for not understanding the nature of ministry. While there was (and still is) plenty of arrogance in youth ministry, I believe there was some truth to the idea that it was youth workers who really ‘got it.’ The church was resistant to new ideas, unconventional thinking, creativity, and outside the box thinking. Youth workers attempted to lead the way in helping the church think differently. I remember so many conversations around this topic as recently as 2005, but something has changed.

Hopefully some of us (present company included) have grown up and matured (some would say ruined). Youth ministry has changed. It does not have the importance, power or influence that it once did. The busyness of culture, the lack of youth and adult participation and the economic realities that have changed the church staff market in general are all part of the equation. The world has changed, the church has changed and youth ministry has changed. Maybe it all makes sense, or maybe it’s just me. Yet I think there is something else going on. The ‘us’ crowd, the creative, innovative youth workers that used to lead the way, have become ‘them.’ It’s no longer the senior pastors, adults and other leaders of the church that are resisting change. It’s now those of us in the youth ministry world. I am not sure what happened; perhaps we are just comfortable or maybe even tired. We have lost some of our power, leverage and influence. I don’t think youth ministry has matured though. In fact our youth ministries seem more theologically immature than ever. I see some of the same games, strategies and mindsets that I experienced as an intern in the late 1990’s. Youth workers seem more resistant than ever to ideas from parents and those outside their circles, especially senior pastors.

While I have yet to hear a single youth worker utter the death phrase ‘we have never done it that way before,’ I see so many youth workers operating out of that very mindset. What happened to our innovation? What happened to our thoughtful, cutting edge, rebellious nature? Where has our sensitivity and discernment to the changing needs of culture gone while trying to engage the Holy Spirit? While I would say that we have lost our way (and we did need to grow up), I also believe youth ministry has become a victim of its own success. We have fallen into the trap of being professional ministers. We have lost sight of the mission and have found comfort in our own empires (no matter how large or small). Much like the church leaders of the past (and perhaps the present), we are unable to challenge our own thinking, especially if what we are doing is appearing to work.

The problem is that I am not so sure it is working anymore. Sure we have amazing youth ministries with fun games and messages that change lives instantly (or at least we think). Yet, in a world where our teenagers hide more of their lives from us, we have created an alternate world that looks more like a Christian bookstore than the Kingdom of God. Our youth are coming to faith and experiencing radical change, and moments later they are off to the parking lot to have sex in their cars. Our student leaders are not the youth that are ‘sold out for Jesus.’ They are the youth that are able to manage multiple selves and pretend better than others. Everything has changed, and the problem is that we have not changed with it. It’s now those in the ‘them’ crowd that are leading the way and it’s those of us in the ‘us’ crowd that are stuck in our own comfort.

Rev. Marcus J Carlson has worked with children and youth for over 14 years and is a spiritual director. He current serves as Associate Pastor at Bethel Lutheran Church in Colorado Springs, CO. (marcusjcarlson.com).

Published in the Nov/Dec 2012 Edition of Youthworker Journal

Read the online article here

The combination of anxiety and mistrust can create a very reactive environment. A congregation member may get upset when he suddenly finds out you have a couch in your office. A mother of one of your students may question your sexual integrity when she finds out you travel to a different city in the state once a month to meet with other ministry leaders.

While post-betrayal youth ministry settings are complex and characterized by anxiety, distrust, drama and reactivity, they are also full of potential. It is often in the midst of pain, suffering and conflict that God’s redemptive work can be most profound. Settings where a leader has fallen are ripe for redemption, and out of the misconduct and betrayal of the past can come great healing and hope.

Making the most of this potential depends on how a leader understands his or her role. In addition to all the important roles a leader typically has, those of us who serve in a post-fall context must embrace our role as healers.

Those who have witnessed a leader’s failure are suffering, and without healing they may continue to live in the pains of the past. Leaders who want to help people heal must focus on building trust at all levels. We also must carefully examine our words and actions to make sure everything we do builds trust and healing.

Tips for Picking Up the Pieces

If you find yourself in a post-fall youth ministry setting, there are some practical steps you can take in practicing things leaders can do to lead effectively while caring for those they serve and for self and family.

First, leaders must practice ferocious personal discipline in every area of life. Some youth workers are known for their lack of personal and professional discipline, which while endearing at times can be deadly in post-betrayal settings. The consistency that comes with personal (and professional) discipline is essential for youth workers and those they lead in these contexts.

Spiritual, physical, emotional and relational disciplines are critical. Additionally, leaders in these complex settings must establish, guard and maintain personal boundaries, especially as it relates to time management, Sabbath observance, personal availability to students and dedicated time with family.

Youth workers in these settings also must learn to manage and live within an anxious and reactive environment while keeping their focus on healing. One of my past supervisors loved to talk about being a non-anxious presence. What she meant was this: In situations where there has been misconduct, leaders need to accept the anxiety of their situations and encourage people to express their feelings without allowing the ministry to be dominated or held captive by people’s fears.

Leaders cannot forget or ignore the history of betrayal in their communities or allow this dark history to dictate the ministry’s future. Ministerial misconduct is a part of the story and history of the youth ministry, but because of the redeeming power of God, it does not have to be whole story.

Youth workers in post-fall contexts also should lead the effort to ensure the ministry adheres to appropriate, healthy policies in order to prevent further misconduct of any kind by ministry leaders. In some cases, this means giving existing policies greater prominence. In cases where current policies are nonexistent or lax, tough new policies must be developed and honored throughout the organization.

These crisis situations also demand that youth workers must think, lead, program and operate theologically instead of operating solely out of natural ability, giftedness or personality. Being a charismatic leader with great speaking and teaching abilities may have worked in the past; but in scenarios of pain and anxiety, natural gifts alone will not cut it.

Finally, leaders must communicate well and often. It is better to over-communicate in a post-betrayal setting than to under-communicate, especially when it comes to your personal, professional and ministry boundaries.

Brokenness is a destructive and powerful reality in churches, ministries and youth ministry settings. The key to being effective leaders and healers in communities that have experienced ministerial misconduct and betrayal is to think carefully about the unique challenges we face while remembering the great hope Jesus Christ offers for our healing and redemption.

Marcus J. Carlson has worked with children and youth for more than 14 years. He currently serves as associate pastor at Bethel Lutheran Church in Colorado Springs, Colo., where he lives with his wife, Jessica, and two children, Micah, 7, and Abby, 4. Marcus also serves as a spiritual director, volunteers with community organizations, and teaches at a community college. In his spare time, he contributes to YouthWorker.com and writes a column for a denominational publication. Learn more at MarcusJCarlson.com.

Published at Youthworker Online (A part of Youthworker Journal)

Read the online article here

Making Mission Trips Meaningful for Parents and Families

The impact of a mission trip in the life of a student never ceases to amaze me. If I am honest, every mission trip I lead also has an impact on my own life. There is something so powerful in serving others that I often feel guilty for getting more out of serving than I feel like I give. Over the years I have learned a lot from leading mission trips, more often from mistakes I make and stealing the good ideas of others rather than my own creative insights or brilliant revelations. In fact, I am not sure I could name one. I have found that one of the great gifts I can give a student, their family and the church I serve is to do things that make the mission trip experience meaningful for parents (and families) as they send their students off on this adventure with me. Here are some things that I have done over the years that have enhanced the mission trip experience for parents and families.

Practice #1: Communicate, Communicate, Communicate

I tend to be an over communicator and while that can be annoying to some, many parents are appreciative of this aspect of my personality, especially when it comes to mission trips. Our mission trip process starts with information meetings, which anyone who would like to go on the trip must attend with a parent. This expectation alone has not only enhanced my relationship with parents and made the mission trip more meaningful for all, but it also has prevented a lot of stress and headaches. In addition to our informational sessions, I make sure to send regular email communication about the mission trip to parents. This includes giving parents a copy of the itinerary and the packing list at the very least two weeks ahead of the trip, but in most cases three to six weeks before the trip. After the trip, I make sure to send out a follow up email so everyone knows about the expectations, events and other follow up that happens after the trip.

Practice #2: The Follow-up Breakfast

Teenagers are notorious for the lack of information they share with parents. I had one student refuse to tell their parents anything about the mission trips for months after the trip. In fact, I had to tell the student that I would ban them from any future trips if they did not talk about the mission trip with their parents. Every summer I have a breakfast where we invite parents (and depending on the church, the whole congregation) to come and hear about the mission trip. I usually prepare a simple slide show and have some youth (and occasionally adult leaders) share about the mission trips from that summer while also sharing a few words myself. Parents are always thankful to see and hear about the mission trip experience from the perspective of their youth as well as others. The great thing about doing this is it is very little work for a lot of return.

Practice #3: The Prayer & Packing Meeting

One practice I stumbled upon due to my own need to plan is what we call the prayer and packing meeting. For every mission trip, the youth and adults going gather the night before we leave. During this time, parents come with their youth and the youth bring their luggage (except maybe for their pillow and personal bag for the ride/flight) to the church. After checking all the bags (for size or weight depending on whether we are flying, driving or both), we load the bags up in the vehicles we will be using the next morning. Then we share a time of meeting and worship. We cover final details, answer questions, and hand out emergency numbers. Then we spend some time in prayer and pray for those going on the trip by inviting parents and family members to come and lay hands on the youth going on the trip. It is a very meaningful send off. We then share communion before disbursing. It is not only a meaningful experience; it’s a gift to parents in another way. It prevents the late evening (or 1:00am) argument between parents and their youth when the procrastinator packing has not started and the parent is running to Wal-Mart to get deodorant. I remember one parent thanking me for this evening when I first came to the church stating, “this is the least stressful day before the mission trip we have ever had.” Sometimes it is the small stuff that has the greatest impact on parents.

Practice #4: Letters

A meaningful tradition for youth, families and friends is to have families and friends of youth going on the trip write secret letters of encouragement to them. Every year I ask parents to help provide 2-4 letters (without their youth knowing) to give them just past the halfway point of the trip. This is always an emotional and powerful experience as I give the letters to students and give them some time and space to read the letters from home. Parents have very little opportunity to tell their children how they fell, especially when they are teenagers. Most of our students have no idea how their parents really feel about them, so reading a heartfelt letter from home is always meaningful and has a great impact on students, parents and families. I have seen siblings moved in powerful ways just by being able to write a letter to their brother or sister. One of the most powerful experiences with this tradition came on one mission trip where I got word that a student’s grandfather had died. I shared the news with the student who was heartbroken. The next evening I passed out the letters as usual, knowing that one of the letters this student was going to receive was from his grandfather who had passed away. Word cannot express the power of that moment for the student and his family.

While none of these practices are complicated or deeply profound, they can have a powerful impact on your youth, parents and families. Thinking carefully about how to involve parents and families in the mission trip experience will not only enhance the mission trip experience, but it will also serve parents in a way that will benefit your ministry more than you might ever realize.

Rev. Marcus J Carlson has worked with children and youth for over 14 years and is a spiritual director. He current serves as Associate Pastor at Bethel Lutheran Church in Colorado Springs, CO. (marcusjcarlson.com).

Published at Youthworker Online (A part of Youthworker Journal)

Read the online article here

Mission Trip Rules that Transform

When we think about mission trips, rules are not one of the first things that come to mind. Rules in youth ministry are often treated as a necessary evil instead of an opportunity. Believe it or not, in the case of mission trips, rules not only create physical and emotional safety, they can add to the transforming power of mission trips. There are a few rules that I have carried with me throughout my whole career and to every church I have served. They are always met with some resistance, but they have served as a great tool for transformation. Too often, we youth worker types are not intentional about many things, particularly our rules and expectations of students.

Rule #1: Cell Phones

I have never allowed students to bring cell phones on mission trips for any reason. We communicate this with students and parents early and often. We do allow our adults to bring them for communication and safety reasons, but also ask them not to use them in front of students unless it is an emergency or an important trip communication. Leaving cell phones home makes a huge difference on mission trips. It’s one more thing that could get lost or stolen as well as one more thing to keep track of. Additionally, cell phones are a huge distraction. Most of our rules for mission trips are focused on either safety or removing distractions. Forcing our students to disconnect during the mission trip avoids a wide variety of problems and leads to a lot of transformation. Our students (as well as adults) are surrounded by noise and distraction and are constantly connected. This prevents so many of us from hearing the voice of God. Removing cell phones from our trips has helped students hear the still, small voice of God with more clarity.

Rule #2: Other Electronic Devices

We also have rules regarding other electronic devices. We do allow music players (ipod etc) on our trips unless we are going on an international trip and are concerned about customs (Yes, we have several students who tell us their music is on their phone but we do not allow them to bring their phones for any reason). We only allow these music devices to be used while on the drive or flight to and from the location of the trip. Once we arrive we take them away and lock them up (this prevents them from getting used, lost or stolen) and even though we have students who insist they need them to sleep, we ask them to suffer for Jesus. We of course allow cameras (unless it’s a phone) on our mission trips, but do not allow any other electronic devices (video game players etc) on our trips. As with the cell phones, these devices are not only a risk (theft etc), but they are also a distraction. Thankfully we have not had any students go into shock after a week without their electronic devices.

Rule #3: Pampering

This rule has created the most debate and controversy in recent years. For our mission trips we tell all participants that it is not a time to pamper, spend time on our appearance and parade the many resources we have in front of others. We ask our students and adults to avoid really nice clothing and jewelry and tell them not to bring a bunch of makeup and other pampering products including hair dryers, curling irons etc. More times than not, our leaders (and usually the ones in their twenties) have the hardest time with this rule.

Rule #4: The Obvious Stuff

There are those rules that are (or at least should be) obvious that I also hold fast to on mission trips. In addition to honoring and respecting the rules of the organizations and people you are working with, the most obvious of these rules relates to romantic physical contact between students. I have never permitted this and while I have rarely had a problem in this area (I am sure there are some I do not know about) it is a rule that we must take seriously on mission trips. Allowing students to wander alone in unsafe situations or riding on the roof of the church van along with other issues are the simple and obvious things that hopefully we do not forget.

The Covenant

Each year I ask our mission teams to create and sign a covenant. I ask them to think about the things that they should expect from each other and we have a dialogue about what should go into our covenant. This agreement between all of the members of our team and God is something that enhances the trip and creates great dialogue between our students as they prepare for our mission trips. It also helps us all to focus on why we are serving while perhaps even reducing some the drama that is a natural part of any mission trip.

Rev. Marcus J Carlson has worked with children and youth for over 14 years and is a spiritual director. He current serves as Associate Pastor at Bethel Lutheran Church in Colorado Springs, CO. (marcusjcarlson.com).

Published in Connections Magazine (July/Aug 2012)

Learn about Connections here

Lutheran Heritage: The Church and Family

by Marcus J. Carlson

It is easy to lose sight of our Lutheran heritage. After all, there are many other things we must think about in our day-to-day living as followers of Jesus Christ. In fact, Luther himself admonished that we must first consider ourselves Christians and not Lutherans. Today in North America, denominational affiliation is not nearly as significant or important as it was even ten years ago, and certainly not as important as it was 50 years ago.

While these realities are in many ways healthy, it would also be unfortunate to lose sight of our Lutheran heritage and connection. I have come to believe that the best understanding of our denominational connection and heritage is to view our denominational affiliation as a theological home. We are called to be Christ followers first and foremost.

One of the most significant aspects of our Lutheran heritage is baptism. As I think about family ministry, I find that baptism offers a critical picture and perspective of what it means to be a church embracing and supporting family, and focuses on a family model of life and ministry.

For the first time in the history of the church, we have at least six generations coexisting within the church. These six generations are equally important and very unique, and there are important differences in each.

When we think about the church, we must view it as a family. The church is the family of God, adopted by the God of the universe through the love and grace provided through Christ Jesus. We are God’s children, brothers and sisters in Christ. This is more than just an affiliation or a cliché expression, as we recognize we truly are the family of God.

The generational divide in the church can be challenging as each generation fights to find value, meaning and significance in the church. Stereotypes, division, hurt and misunderstanding can be more common than a sense of unity, love, community and understanding in the midst of diversity. We are an intergenerational church, but many times our intergenerational identity is limited to diversity of our membership instead of being an expression of life, worship and community.

We still hold the view that the older members of the church are the ones who fund ministry, while those of middle age lead the various ministries of the church. We assume that the youth and young adults are the labor force and missionaries of the church, while the children are at best seen as consumers to be nurtured—or at the worst, a nuisance.

While this may be true in a practical sense, it is not at all consistent with the Biblical notion of community, church or family. It is not at all the intergenerational expression of the church Christ envisioned, and it falls short of the picture of unity provided by Paul in many of his letters to the early church.

In the midst of our generational diversity we have lost sight of the unity we have in Christ. We have lost sight of our Lutheran heritage of what it means to be the church, the adopted family of Christ that is saved by grace through faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.

The challenges we face as an intergenerational church in North American are significant, but our potential is far greater than our challenges. We must look to Christ as the source of life, the model of the Christian life and image of what the church is called to be. As Lutherans the answer to these challenges can be found in our theology, understanding and heritage, specifically in our understanding of baptism and the language we use in our baptismal vows and order of service for baptism.

In our baptismal liturgy there are words the pastor, parents, sponsors and congregation share as a part of the baptismal service. These words are rich and intentional. They not only speak volumes about the sacrament of baptism, but also about the nature of God and His church. The parents and the congregation both make promises as a part of this liturgy, and are reminded of the covenant God has with His people.

Our theologically rich baptism liturgy is deeply rooted in the Scriptures, both the Old and New Testament. The parents promise to bring the child up in the Christian faith and the church. The parents commit to teaching their children about the Christian faith, to provide them with the Scripture and to nurture their faith that they might know, trust and love God.

The congregation also shares in a commitment—not only to their own faith in the words of the Apostles Creed, but also to the person being baptized. The congregation welcomes the new member of the family of faith (the adopted family of God to which we all belong), and also promises to provide for their nurture and instruction. Our baptism liturgy reminds us of some very important things about our relationship with God, our families, our church and each other. Our baptismal service provides some beautiful reminders about who God is and who we are as His people and His church. They are a key part of our Lutheran heritage and practice.

There are three things that strike me when I reflect on our baptismal liturgy. First, I am reminded once again that God has a covenant with us, His people. It is a covenant that we did not and cannot earn. It exists only because of who God is, what God has done, is doing and will continue to do. In short, it is not about us. What if we grabbed hold of this piece of our Lutheran heritage and theology and embraced the notion that church is not about what we have done or do, but about who God is?

The second piece of this liturgy that causes me to reflect is found in the promises of the parents of the child (or the adult) being baptized. Here we find a commitment to be connected to the body of Christ, the church, and to be raised in the Christian faith. In this way we are reminded that parents are the spiritual leaders of their children. This language is important. At a recent meeting, I heard a youth minister share that parents were the disciplers of their children based on what the Scripture says. The problem is that this is not accurate to the Scripture and runs counter to our Lutheran heritage and understanding.

The third piece of our baptism liturgy that causes me to stop and reflect provides some clarity to this issue. It is the response of the church during the baptismal service reminding

us about the purpose of the church and the order that God has set up for His community of faith and His people. It is the church that takes ownership for the discipleship of the child. While the spiritual leadership of a child belongs to the parents, it is the community of faith, the church, that is responsible for pointing this child to Christ. Our faith is not an individual effort, rather our faith is something that is learned, expressed and lived out in community. Our liturgy, theology and heritage remind us that the church is the family of God responsible for leading, caring for, and pointing one another to a deeper relationship with Jesus Christ.

What would happen if we began to live out this understanding in our families, our homes, our work, our church and our communities? I suspect that the challenges of being an intergenerational church would fade away and we would not have to worry about attendance, giving, membership or outreach because we would not have church buildings big enough to hold all the people that would love to be a part of a family like that.

Published in Connections Magazine (Sept/Oct 2012)

Learn about Connections here

A Theology of Suffering for the Family

by Marcus J. Carlson

Nobody enjoys suffering, and our human nature avoids it. One of the great failures of the American church is our lack of a theology of suffering. For a faith that hinges on the greatest torture device in the history of the world—the cross—we do not know how to think, talk about or embrace suffering. For a people who seek to follow Jesus Christ—who embraced suffering for us—we often assume that His suffering means that we should not have to suffer.

Suffering is a reality of life that cannot be avoided. As Lutherans, our love for the cross, for Lent and for other symbols of suffering should lead us to a more thoughtful theology of suffering, but this is often not the case.

As followers of Christ, our entire faith hinges on the life of a man, Jesus Christ, who embraced suffering, not for the sake of suffering, but out of love for us all. Jesus did not shy away from suffering; instead, He embraced it.

Additionally, Jesus calls all of His disciples to “take up [their] cross daily” as they follow Him. Our churches and our families desperately need a theology of suffering that is consistent with our faith and the reality of suffering. Pain avoidance has become high in value in both our culture and our churches, but it is not a value consistent with Scripture and the story of God’s people. It is not consistent with the life and message of Christ.

As a parent, I do not want my children to be in pain. Many times I wish I could take their pain on myself so that they do not have to experience it. In this way, I catch a tiny glimpse

of the love of God for all people. Parents often want to fix things for their children. We want to find solutions to their problems and help them avoid pain. While these intentions are good, we must stop, think and reflect carefully (and theologically) about the role and nature of suffering in the lives of our children, youth, families and churches.

Suffering is a reality we are called to embrace by the words and life of Christ. Our children and youth desperately need to learn and have modeled for them a theology of suffering. Our children and youth need to learn how to deal with suffering so that when they face it as adults, they can be drawn closer to God.

We cannot put our efforts into ignoring suffering, expecting our children and youth to face it alone. Nor should we try to avoid or fix the suffering in the lives of our children. Instead, we need to find a way to teach them about suffering, and help them to embrace it as we walk with them through their times of suffering. As I work through my own theology of suffering, particularly when it comes to children and youth, I try to keep the following five key points in mind.

No suffering is too great for our God

Talking about suffering is very difficult, especially when in the midst of it. We know in our hearts and minds that there is no amount of suffering that is too great for our God. In the midst of suffering, it can be hard for us to embrace this reality. When thinking about suffering, and when helping our children and youth, we must remind them of the power and love of God. Our children and youth need to know that they do not have to walk alone in the midst of their suffering.

No suffering will ever be as painful as the suffering of Christ
Our own suffering often feels so significant that we think nobody can fully understand how much we are hurting. The nature of pain is usually overwhelming, and suffering creates a sense of loneliness in us. It even caused Jesus to cry out, asking the Father, “Why have you forsaken me?” While comparison is often the basis of all unhappiness—and comparison can be especially dangerous in the midst of suffering—perspective is crucial.

No amount of suffering that we will face as human beings will ever be as painful as the suffering of Christ. The amount of suffering Christ endured, not only on the cross, but in His life and ministry as well, will always be more significant than anything we will face. Part of the beauty of the cross is that Jesus embraced the worst of suffering and rejection so that we would not have to. The cross does not rid the world of suffering, but it does change our experience with suffering.

No suffering is the end of the story

God has written the most beautiful love story that can ever be told, and yet it’s a love story that is also filled with pain and suffering. God’s story continues to be written in our lives and in the world, and God’s Kingdom is still fully present and unfolding in, around and through us. Suffering is a part of our story; it shapes us in powerful ways, but it does not define us. It is not the end of the story that God is writing in our lives and in the world that He loves.

No Suffering Can escape the power of God’s redemption
Our God is a God who can (and does) redeem all things, making all things new. We believe that God can take any situation and any suffering we face and make it good. Some of the most significant parts of my own faith life have come in the midst and aftermath of suffering. While God does not cause our suffering, God can take our suffering and turn it into good, making all things new. This is the powerful story of redemption we must share with our children and youth as we walk with them through their suffering.

No Suffering Can Separate us from the love of God
Romans 8 reminds us in a powerful way that nothing in the world can separate us from the love of God. While suffering may be a painful, lonely experience, it does not keep us from God’s love. I believe that it is in the midst of suffering we can experience the love of God in the most profound ways. While we may feel a sense of punishment, abandonment or isolation from God in the midst of suffering, it (and any feelings suffering causes in us) cannot separate us from God’s love. Our children and youth need to hear this truth in order to embrace suffering as followers of Jesus Christ.

While suffering is a painful reality of a broken world that we wish were not a reality, God’s redeeming power is bigger than any amount of suffering we will ever face. God speaks to us in the midst of, in spite of and because of suffering. Max Lucado once commented: “The next time that you are called to suffer, pay attention, it may be the closest you ever get to God.”

We know the end of the story: on the other side of suffering is hope and victory. While the cross is an important part of the story that can help us understand, accept and find life in the midst of suffering, the cross is not the end of the story because of Jesus’s victory over death.

Published in Connections Magazine (May/June 2012)

Learn about Connections here

The Holy Spirit, Our Children and Youth

by Marcus J. Carlson

As parents—and as a church family—we always want the best for our children and youth. We know we are obligated to keep them safe, provide for them and lead them spiritually so that they might grow into their own relationship with Christ. As parents—and as leaders of children and youth ministries— we cannot always succeed or be perfect in our parenting; after all, it is hard work, and we are human beings.

There is this thing known as sin as well. Sometimes what we think is best for our children and youth resembles what we want and need as adults instead of what the Holy Spirit is doing and wants for our children and youth. We easily forget that the Holy Spirit leads and guides us as we parent and work with the children and youth entrusted to us in our family, our church and our circle of influence.

We often react and respond based on emotion or instinct, especially when it comes to our children, youth, families (and even our churches). We should stop and sincerely ask the question, “What is the Holy Spirit up to right now?” We must look to the Holy Spirit for guidance in all things and trust the Holy Spirit is speaking in the midst of every situation and wants to use all things to draw us closer to God. As evidenced in Scripture and history, God is always redeeming all things and making them new.

Parenting and leading our children and youth can be challenging and difficult. The Holy Spirit will help us—and in many ways make this task easier—but it would be wrong not to admit that following God’s direction is not always easy. It continues to amaze me both as a parent and a pastor how freeing it can be once I choose to let go and trust God with the lives of the children and youth I care about. Maybe it is personal fear, our individualistic nature or a desire for control that causes us to assume control over things we must trust God with. If we choose to allow the Holy Spirit to lead, not only do we find freedom, but also the process and the results will be more fruitful.

This does not mean that we abdicate our responsibility; rather, it means we recognize the significance of our responsibility and our need to have God lead us as we care for the children and youth in our families and churches. We must make our best effort to discern what the Holy Spirit is, has and wants to do in the life of our children and youth in all things, not just their spiritual lives. God cares deeply about every aspect of the lives of His children, and the Holy Spirit is here to guide, encourage, support and challenge us as we accept the high calling of parenting and caring for the children and youth in our families, our church and our community.

We somehow assume God needs us or that God is our backup plan. We assume we are in charge and fully responsible and in control. It does not take children or teenagers (especially teenagers) to remind us that there is little we can control. To illustrate this idea, Jesus offers a parable about a sower where he explains the difference between the planting of four seeds. Jesus loved to use agricultural imagery in much of His teaching.

Our culture today is nowhere near as agricultural as the culture Jesus was speaking to, but we can all understand the simplicity of this parable. If you try to plant a seed on the sidewalk, some animal will eat it. If you try to plant a seed amongst the dirt and the rocks, it won’t grow well because it cannot take full root. If you try to plant a seed among the weeds and the thorns, they will choke it. If you plant a seed on good soil, however, it will grow and produce fruit. Sounds good, right? If you ask any farmer or gardener, they will tell you that the first three statements are almost always true and the last statement is usually true. It is possible to plant a seed in perfect soil, give it the right amount of moisture, sun and care and still have it not grow.

Parenting, as well as leading our children and youth, is a seed-planting mission. We must do all we can to cultivate the right environment and experiences for them to have the best opportunity to grow and flourish in every way. While we can do all of these things by the grace of God, who provides us the means to do so, we are still not in control. Whether or not the seed grows, how it grows or what it produces is not really up to us—it is up to God. The more I remind myself of this reality, the more I am humbled and empowered to care for and lead the children and youth God has put in my life. If we all recognize that it is God through the Holy Spirit, who leads and guides us, and that the Holy Spirit is the one who makes the seed (our children and youth) grow, then we can be empowered to not only better parent, serve and lead our children and youth, but we will grow in our faith as well.

Recently I was walking my youngest child, my daughter Abby (who is 4 going on 30), from my church office to the preschool at the church. As we were leaving my office so she could go to school for the day, she looked at the two baby pictures in my office of the children. She asked which one was her and after I asked her to guess, she picked correctly.

“I was beautiful, Daddy!” she exclaimed.
“Yes,” I said, “and you are still beautiful.”
“You and mommy changed my diapers when I was a baby.” “Yes,” I said, “we did and we loved to take care of you.”

I could see her mind processing it all, and as we walked hand in hand to school I was reminded that the Holy Spirit frequently speaks to us through our children. Time and time again I learn more about God from children and youth that changes my life and ministry than I ever could have learned in seminary. Remember, God can speak to us, the church and the world, through our children and youth. Also, the Holy Spirit can speak to our children and youth as well, enabling them to lead us to a deeper relationship with Jesus Christ.

The Holy Spirit is speaking to us through our children and youth. The Holy Spirit guides us and calls us to align ourselves with the will of God as we care for our children and youth in our families, our churches and our community. May we always recognize that the Holy Spirit is at work in, around and through us.