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Health Series Part 2

Leader Health

By DR. MARCUS J. CARLSON

Executive Director, Preparing for Amazement Ministries

Patrick Lencioni in his book The Advantage notes that “organizational health trumps everything.” Not only have I found his premise to be true in the church to a high degree, but I have also found it to be true for the leaders of the church as well. Outside of the Gospel, the most important factor in the effectiveness and longevity of a church is the health of the church. Outside of the work of God, health is the most important factor in the effectiveness of pastors, staff and ministry leaders. Health trumps. At least 29% of pastors in the United States seriously considered leaving ministry (not just their current call) in the last year. Pastors, church staff and ministry leaders are struggling deeply.

There are five key principles about leader health that have been essential in my leadership journey, both successes and failures. Understanding these principles can help any leader discern what health looks like for them.

1. You cannot give what you do not have

In my office is a print of a painting of a man holding large chalice. Below him and the chalice are the shadows of a large number of people. Above him is a heavenly image, representing God. From heaven, oil pours out over the man’s head, over his body and into the cup. The cup overflows and pours out onto the shadows of the crowd. It is an image of the Scripture, “you anoint my head with oil, my cup overflows.” All that we have comes from God. Often, as leaders we try to do things with our own effort and only rely on God in times of desperation. If we do not intentionally allow God to pour into us, we have nothing of value to offer others.

2. No one will do it for you

Churches are filled with wonderful people who love their pastors, staff and leaders. No church wants an unhealthy pastor. The hard reality, however, is that no one will do health for you. No one else will protect your health, set boundaries for you or make your health a priority, no matter how much they might want to. No one will do it
for you: it is something you must do. It is an intentional commitment that requires effort (not works).

3. You cannot do it alone

One of the many beauties and joys of the Christian faith is that it was never meant to be experienced and lived in isolation. We cannot fully follow Jesus and experience the abundant life He promised us without the help of others. As Luther is often quoted, “God does not need our good works, but our neighbor does.” Most pastors, ministry
staff and church leaders live lives of deep loneliness and isolation and are in need of others who will care about their health and wellbeing. Transformational health is impossible without the help of others. We need others to hold us accountable, help us set and maintain boundaries, and make health a priority and a reality.

4. It’s a matter of obedience

Health is a matter of obedience. Every human being is created in the image of God and is loved by God. Every human being is invited to be adopted into God’s family. Self-care, health and boundaries are a natural part of love. One key aspect to leader health is embracing sabbath. Sabbath is not a suggestion: it is a command. It even made the top ten list of commands! Most pastors, church staff and ministry leaders blatantly ignore sabbath. Our culture worships work and performance, abandoning the rhythm of rest. Sabbath is not always about doing nothing, it is about not doing our normal work and doing only those things that give us life. It is a rhythm of rest, one day every seven, not two weeks every year. Sabbath reminds us that we rely on God and that God does not need our work. In Sabbath, we delight in God and step away from self-dependence and the worldly idol of busyness. God rested. Jesus rested. If sabbath is good enough for God, then who are we to think that we do not need it. Health is a matter of obedience.

5. Unhealthy leaders are toxic

One of the areas of focus for the ministry I lead is helping churches revitalize through health. I have worked with many churches over my career as a volunteer, youth pastor, children’s pastor, associate pastor, senior pastor, intentional interim pastor, and consultant. When churches and other organizations have leaders who are unhealthy, it has a negative and often dramatic impact on the organization. This is why it is critical that churches care about the health of their pastors, staff and leaders. Unhealthy leaders can cause churches to become unhealthy. Unhealthy leaders often have unhealthy families. Unhealthy leaders reproduce unhealthy disciples.

The ministry I lead has an inventory for Christian leaders to do some self-evaluation of their own health. This free inventory has questions organized in seven different categories and can be found by visiting inventory.amazed15.org. In this season of ministry, I am doing some of the best work and ministry of my career. Why? It is not because I am older, wiser or more educated (though none of that hurts). The reason I am finding the greatest effectiveness, joy and peace in ministry in this season is because I am the healthiest I have ever been, in every way (with plenty work still to do). Health trumps.

Leader health matters. For those who lead churches and Christian organizations, as well as for those who are Christian leaders in secular settings, health trumps. Health trumps skill set, education, programs, preaching and just about everything else. Outside of the work of God through the Gospel, health is the most important factor in the effectiveness of any leader who follows Jesus. Pastors, church staff and ministry leaders must make health a priority if they want to make the kind of Kingdom impact they desire. Churches must come alongside their pastors, staff and ministry leaders to ensure that they are able to experience lasting and transformational health so that all our churches may be the light that the world so desperately needs.

Note: This is the 2nd in a 4-part series focused on the health of pastors, staff and other ministry leaders. The next article will examine the nature of church health and how congregations can emphasize organizational health.

Shaping and Forming

Shaping & Forming

“Faith and Family”
January/February 2019

by Marcus J. Carlson

We are all familiar with Jesus’ Great Commission to go and make disciples. In essence, we are to be disciples who make disciples who make disciples who make disciples. That is how this movement known as Christianity spread from
12 ordinary followers to the millions who call themselves Christians today. Discipleship happens primarily in relationship. It is both individual and corporate. It is all based on God’s action but invites our participation. Even our desire to participate in discipleship comes from God.


The reality is that each of us is being shaped and formed every day. There are people and things that shape and form who we are, what we believe, how we see the world, what we say, and what we do. If you are not aware of who or what is shaping and forming you, it will be the culture, the world around you, that shapes and forms you. As a parent, I think about this a lot when it comes to my children. I wonder who or what is shaping and forming them. I keep certain bad influences or unhealthy things away from them because I want them to be shaped and formed in the best way possible. The truth, however, is that I often do not pay as much attention to what is shaping and forming me as I do for my children. We do not grow out of being influenced by the people and things around us. As I have thought and prayed about how I want my own children to be shaped and formed, I have found myself thinking more and more about how I should be shaped and formed and how I talk to those in my church and community about who or what is shaping and forming them.

The truth is, whether we are Christians or not, but especially if we are Christians, we are being discipled and formed in some way. As Christians, we should be discipled and formed through the Scriptures, relationships, and Jesus. The reality is that in the United States today most people are discipled by their cable news station and formed by their social media feed. Most Christians in the U. S. spend more time with their television and social media focused on politics and the news than they do in prayer, study of the Bible, and with other Christians. This is deeply problematic in so many ways, and is idolatry. Added to the idolatry is the deep bias of most news stations. That is not healthy even if we agree with the bias. The news is sensationalized or too short to give us full and accurate information. Even if it were accurate, truth is ultimately only found in Jesus. I find Christians have ignored the Scriptures for their politics whether conservative, liberal, or something in between. We are called to worship and imitate Jesus, not a political party, figure, or ideology. The other day I was on the social media page of a Christian who had more pictures of a political figure on their page than of their own children. The reality is that both major parties have beliefs that are both consistent with and directly contrary to the Scriptures and the life and ministry of Jesus.

Christians’ perspectives and moods can be shaped more by politics than by Jesus. This is idol worship, heresy, and an insult to what Jesus did on the cross. Is your cable news station shaping and forming you, or are you being shaped and formed by the triune God: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit? This is a question that Christians should be regularly asking themselves. As Christians, as followers of Jesus, as Lutherans, we are to be shaped and formed by the Triune God. Our shaping and forming must come from God the Father, Jesus the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Again, this happens in relationships: relationship with Jesus, and relationship with other Christians. It is an intentional act. Every follower of Jesus should have someone that is discipling them, and each should be discipling at least one other person. This is the heart of the great commission and at the center of the purpose of the church.

If you are not intentionally being shaped by God, then you are being shaped by someone or something else and even if that someone or something else is good, it is not God. So often, we simply do not pay attention to our spiritual life, and while discipleship is not about our works, it is intentional. Are you intentionally in at least one discipleship relationship?
This is firmly connected to our children and families. Chances are, if we are not being shaped and formed by Jesus, then they aren’t either. We cannot expect them to follow what we do not model to them. The stakes for them, for the church, and for the world could not be higher.
Are you spending more time with Fox, MSNBC, or other network personalities than you are with Jesus? Are you spending more time consuming the news of the day rather than spending time resting in the word of God? Again, it is not our works that save us or even make us disciples, yet we are called to be intentional about our faith formation and our growth as disciples. Are you spending time in the Bible, in prayer, in worship, and engaging in other spiritual disciplines? These are not matters of work, but a lifestyle. Discipleship is the continual pursuit of Jesus; it is a matter of the heart. Discipleship is paying deep attention to what or who is shaping and forming us and making sure the things that shape and form us are things of God.

I once had a professor note that one-fourth of the people in the United States proclaim to be Christians. He challenged that because he failed to see the fruit of it in the culture. He noted, “If I had one pound of steak and a quarter of it was salt, I would certainly notice.” He made a valid point. Perhaps many of us claim to be Christians, but we are not really disciples. We are not being shaped and formed by God, but rather by something or someone else. Who is shaping and forming you? Who are you imitating? If the answer is not Jesus, it might be time to take a look at what it means to be his disciple.

The Holy Spirit and our Families

The Holy Spirit and our Families

“Faith and Family”
November/December 2018

 

by Marcus J. Carlson

Life brings challenges and suffering, but we have been given the Holy Spirit to comfort and guide us. In comforting our children, we have an obligation to point our children to the Holy Spirit for comfort.

We face decisions each day as individuals and as families. We may choose to follow our own appetites and desires or we may follow the Spirit’s guidance. Surrendering our desires is no easy task, but if we model this for our children, we will have given them a gift that supersedes anything we can give them through our own efforts. As individuals, families and churches we must always look to the Holy Spirit for guidance and direction.

The Fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22-23 is an image of what it looks like to live life in the Spirit. What a joy it would be for us as parents if we and our children could be marked by this fruit: “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self- control” (Galatians 5:22-23 NIV). Earlier in the chapter, as Paul writes about such topics as freedom and love, he also points us to what it means to live life rooted in the Holy Spirit. Simply put, a life established in the Holy Spirit is one of trust. My hope and prayer as an individual, pastor, husband, and father is that each day I might grow in my trust of the Holy Spirit. My prayer for my children and all those I serve, lead, and know is that they may know, trust, and grow in their trust of the Holy Spirit each day. One of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves, our children, and our families is to continually ask how and where we may trust the Holy Spirit. Parenting is one of the greatest joys and challenges we have; why would we want to do it without the help and guidance of the Holy Spirit?

In the Gospel of John, Jesus promises us abundant life. It is one of my favorite passages in Scripture, but also a source of discouragement. Many Christians I meet do not strike me as embraced this abundant life. This life is found in Jesus alone, and He has given us the Holy Spirit to lead us to abundant life. It is tempting to look to circumstances and performances instead of to the Holy Spirit. Life can get wrapped up in the activities, successes, and failures of our children. Being imperfect beings, this is problematic, as nothing on earth can bring us abundant life. Only Jesus can bring us abundant life through the guidance of His Spirit.

The Holy Spirit is and must be the one to guide our churches too. Sadly, that is not always the case. Desires, fears, traditions, and finances often guide us. Some of these things have value; however, not all these earthly factors combined could never be as significant as the guidance of the Holy Spirit. The first question that any church should ask itself in making a decision is, “What is the Holy Spirit saying and doing among us?” Sometimes this is not obvious and sometimes in smaller matters, there is no answer. Even in the midst of our best attempts, we get this wrong. Yet, none of this should keep us from seeking the Holy Spirit first for the decisions we must make, using Holy Scripture as a lens for guiding us in the truth. Through His Spirit, God has given us wisdom, spiritual gifts, and other resources. We have all we need to be the Church of Jesus Christ in whatever place or season we find ourselves. What would be the result if our congregations were really guided primarily by the Holy Spirit? The renewal that we often desperately want is not as far from us as we might think. If we listened to the Holy Spirit, I suspect we would not be wrestling with decline and survival, but instead, how to handle all the ministry that God brings our way.

We cannot deny that as followers of Jesus, we are called to live life in the Holy Spirit. Why would we want any other life? Life in the Spirit is one of joy and peace, mystery, hope, and abundance. May Christians, their families, and their churches around the world find themselves guided by the Holy Spirit instead of human strength. When Jesus left this earth, he did not leave us, and he did not leave us alone. We disciples of Jesus as His Church, have been given the Holy Spirit. There is nothing else we could ever need.

All About Jesus

All About Jesus

“Faith and Family”
September/October 2018

 

by Marcus J. Carlson

We come to our second issue of Connections on the Apostles’ Creed and article two. It is
the longest article, and in my opinion, the most important. It is not the most important in the sense that it has more value than the other articles, but without the Christ, there is no Christianity.

The second article of the Apostles’ Creed is all about Jesus. It tells the story of Jesus with the key events that we all know, events upon which holidays are celebrated inside and outside of the church. They are the powerful moments in the story of Jesus. While it does not mention the life and ministry of Jesus or the teachings of Jesus, it does not ignore them. They are central to who Jesus is, and Jesus’ identity on earth as being fully God and fully man. I know I will never fully understand what that really means until I come face to face with Jesus. I embrace the mystery while living in the power of the truth I know: the power of the story of Jesus. Without the birth, life, death, and resurrection of Jesus, this is not a good news story or a life changing story. It is a bad news story; it is a dead faith.

For all of the beliefs, practices, traditions, and aspects of Christianity, it all comes down to Jesus. Certainly our other doctrines, beliefs, practices, and traditions have great value, but they have no value at all if they do not point us back to the Gospel. The Gospel is the good news of Jesus.

I have had the privilege to travel the world and speak and teach in a variety of places. I have been in places of spiritual desolation and spiritual abundance. I have had the opportunity to teach and do ministry in the first, second, and third world. There are a handful of things that are universal in these experiences: siblings fighting, an emphasis on relationship, and the Word of God, but the one that trumps it all, is Jesus. Whether in the spiritual dry cities of Europe, the less than 1% Christian country of Bangladesh, or the slums of Africa, everyone wants, needs, and can relate to and embrace Jesus. I have seen this in over 20 countries outside of the United States and 39 of our 50 states and one thing always remains: Jesus.

The story of Jesus is the Christian faith. It is the Gospel. It is our story; the story of the world. It is a story to be shared. I always wondered why we are so afraid to share the greatest story ever told. In part two of the Creed, we are reminded that this Creed is more than a rote set of beliefs. In article two, we see the story of Jesus and are reminded that the Apostles’ Creed does not speak about life; it is life. We are so used to the story (and the Creed) that we take it for granted. In our regular reciting of the Creed, it can lose its meaning. This is a tragedy because in the Creed we find more than just a list of beliefs.

We find life now and for eternity. In the Creed, we find Jesus. In the Creed, we find the Gospel, the good news of Jesus that brings abundant life now, and life with Jesus for eternity.
In Romans 1, Paul talks about his ministry and his preaching. It is for both the Gentiles and the Greeks; it was for the wise and the foolish. Phew; that includes all of us. This was and remains controversial. For the Jews, God was only for the select, for the religious, for those born into the church. Then this Jesus guy shows up and says, Wait a minute, time out.This is for everyone and, by everyone, Jesus meant everyone. The Gospel was and is also for the wise and the foolish. It is for those who have it together, those who think they have it together but do not, and for those that, at best, are a hot mess. It is for the well-dressed and for the people with untucked shirts. It is for the wealthy and the poor. It is for the educated and those who do not care about education. It is for the people in your church who come regularly. Like it or not, realize it or not, live it or not, it is also for those people you would never invite into your home and church.

Paul was eager to preach that message. He was eager to be in this big place of great influ-ence: Rome. It was a hub. It was filled with people that had been excluded from faith. Romans 1:16 is one of those pinnacle, quotable, very much worth memorizing verses. “For I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God that brings salvation to eve-ryone who believes, first to the Jew, then to the Gentile” (NIV). I memorized that verse in 1997. It still gives me chills. Hear it again, “For I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes, first to the Jew, then to the Gentile.” Everyone. Salvation for everyone. The gospel is the power of God of which we are never to be ashamed. If we are honest, we hide the Gospel. We are afraid to talk about the Gospel, and in that way, we are perhaps ashamed. Let’s be even more honest. How in the world can anyone be ashamed of a message that says God loves and accepts everyone without condition, and offers them salvation? What in the world do we have to be ashamed of? That we might be rejected? That God might let some in that we do not think deserve it? That God would love and accept and save the “those people” in our life? Guess what? You and I are “those people.” Even with our smiles and nice beliefs and good church attendance. In spite of our imperfections, our sin and our selfishness, the Gospel is still for us.

It is still for you—in spite of yourself. It is still for me in spite of my rough edges. So, what could ever possess us to take a message like the Gospel and keep it quiet, hold it for our-selves? For crying out loud, we share with the world on social media what we had for lunch, and yet, are afraid to tell people what we know and love about the greatest news, the greatest story ever: the Gospel of God’s love and grace.

This brings us to our children. We might raise our kids in church, take them to Vacation Bible School, confirmation, and other church events. We might even get them a Bible to keep on the shelf. But do we really give them Jesus? After all, it turns out that this faith thing, this thing we call Christianity is all about Jesus. Church attendance, confirmation, Bibles, and VBS are all great things, but they are all secondary to the one thing that

matters, the one thing that is univer- sal, the one thing upon which all
of Christianity hinges: Jesus. When parents ask me what the most important thing they can do for their kids as it relates to their faith, I simply tell them, “Give them Jesus.” When I think about my work as a pastor and especially the sermons I preach, I remind myself that my job is simple. Preach the word. Point people to the Kingdom of God and give them Jesus, because when it is all said and done, it’s all about Jesus.

Marcus J. Carlson is an ordained pastor (LCMC & NALC), with a Doctor of Ministry focused in family ministry. He currently serves as Senior Pastor at St. Mark’s Lutheran Church, Auburn, Indiana. He and his wife, Jessica, have two children. You may reach Marcus through his website at revdrorange.com.

The Creed and our Children

Connections Magazine

Faith & Family

July/August 2018

The Creed and our Children

In my church, we recite the Apostles’ Creed every single Sun- day during our traditional worship
service. To introduce the creed each week, we say something like this: “Please join me in professing our faith in the words of the Apostles Creed.” The beauty of liturgy and repetition is that it gives us stability and comfort in a world that is often chaotic. The challenge with liturgy and repetition is that it can, for some, lose its mean- ing as we end up repeating it as a sort of “going through the motions.” This is one of the many reasons that it is important to teach the meaning of the Apostles’ Creed in our churches, homes, and especially with our chil- dren and youth.

Our confirmation process does not include a lot of assignments, and only has a handful of things to memo- rize. Memorizing the Apostles’ Creed is one of those things. The reason we do this is because the creed is import- ant and relevant. It is a succinct sum- mary of the basics of what we believe. There are diverse views on a wide variety of theological, political, and philosophical issues in my church. That diversity is a gift. Yet, unity in the midst of diversity is essential.

This is where the creed can be excep- tionally helpful; it gives us a starting place, laying out the essentials and allowing us to proclaim these truths in community rather than isolation. Christianity is both an individual and a communal faith. It is public and pri- vate. It is so critically important that we model all of these things to our children and youth, and encourage them to practice them alongside of us and the rest of the congregation. The survival of the church depends on our intentional efforts to pass on the faith.

In thinking about the first article of the creed, “I believe in God, the Father Almighty, Maker of heaven and earth,” many things come to mind, especially as they relate to our children and youth. Explaining the Trinity in a way that makes perfect, complete, and logical sense is a near- ly impossible task. There is an aspect of the Trinity that is almost unex- plainable by our minds, and there is, of course, a beautiful mystery that we must embrace by faith.

This first article of the creed is ultimately about two things: God the Father and creation. Understanding God as the Father is critical to our understanding of faith, the words of Jesus, and the order that comes in creation. It can also be the hardest. Those who had fathers who hurt them, have been absent or abusive, can make this imagery of God very difficult. Those who have a bad relationship with their father can struggle deeply with this concept. Certainly, teenagers in their rebel- lious phase might be resistant to this imagery as well. It is important that we understand this and graciously and patiently work with these chal- lenges, allowing God the Father to redeem and reclaim their flawed, worldly ideals of father. God is the perfect Father. Our earthly fathers are imperfect. I am a father and, as desperately as I want to be a great father, I am human and have my momentary flaws. I can say with great pride that I am not a perfect father, but I do know the one who is the perfect Father. My job is to constantly be in connection with God the Father, just as Jesus was. As a parent and a pastor, it is my job to point everyone, especially children and youth and in particular, my children and youth to the perfect father, who is God the Father almighty.

This first article of the creed is also about creation. Creation is some- thing that I think we have lost sight of in North American Christianity. Creation consistently displays the beauty, power, and love of God the Father. We know who God really is through revelation. This revelation is found in Jesus, the scripture, and creation. What is most problematic about our view of creation in the church today is that we avoid it for fear of being too scientific. We also have a tenden- cy to blame God for the bad parts of creation (especially weather and natural disasters) and take the good, powerful, and beautiful things for granted. I have always loved creation and its beauty and as a result, I have been blessed to enjoy and give God thanks for even the simplest thing in creation.

My family and I live out in the country on 10 acres. Our property includes fields, hills, woods, swamp land, and a creek. We see lots of creation just on our own property, some like deer that we are excited to see, and others such as possums that we are less excited to see. We have a family of cardinals that we see each and every year. So often, one cardinal appears in our window as if it is checking in on us. The cardinal is beautiful and is my wife’s favorite bird. The reason the cardinal is her favorite bird is two-fold: first, it was the favorite bird of a family member who was near and dear to her who has since passed. The second reason Jessica loves cardinals, is the belief (right or wrong) that cardinals are a reminder of a loved one who has passed away, and is a symbol when they visit that the loved one we have lost is still with us. Now, I have never found this in the Bible, but I still think it is a beautiful and meaningful thing.
My favorite bird is the Oriole. In the almost 5 years we have lived here, we have never had an Oriole. Each year I keep talking about getting an Oriole feeder to attract them, but I never do. This past weekend, my wife Jessica spotted the first Oriole on our property since we have been here. She came running into the house like she was on fire with pure excitement and pictures. I
think she was more excited than I was. But let’s be honest, Orioles are just birds—not worth screaming over, running around, or special feeders. Yet, there is something beautiful about having joy over a Cardinal and an Oriole. There is something wonderful about enjoying
even the simplest of creation. It is part of the reason God created it and made us.

As parents we need to teach children and youth about the beauty and power of creation. We have to help them see creation as one more thing that reveals the power and love of God to us and to the world. We need to teach our children about creation and its power. We need to help our children know the creator, the all-powerful, almighty, loving, God the Father. That is the gift of the first article. It points us to creation and the creator, God the Father Almighty. How wonderful is it for us to know and for our children to know that the God who hung the stars knows them and loves them? It turns out that this one sentence has much to show us about God and ourselves.

Beauty in the Midst of Tragedy

Connections

May/June 2018

faith and family

Beauty in the Midst of Tragedy

by Marcus J. Carlson

Suffering is a reality of this life, but a painful and unfortunate one to say the least. I get asked frequently from those inside and outside of the church about the cause and source of suffering. Our simple sayings, cliches and bumper sticker theology about suffering no longer seem to suffice. While Jesus never promised us a life free of suffering (He said the opposite, in fact), when we suffer, Jesus does hurt for us. As a parent it is more difficult watching one of my children in pain and not being able to fix it or take it away. God’s love will always be more profound than my love for my own children, and so I cannot fathom what it must be for God to watch His children suffer.

So where does suffering come from? To be honest, I think it comes from a variety of sources, and it is not always easy to figure out which is the culprit in a given situation. While Godallows suffering, I do not believe God causes suffering. From my own study, understanding and experience, I have found five general sources of suffering.

The first is the reality that we live in a broken, fallen, imperfect and sinful world. It has been this way since Adam and Eve disobeyed God in the Garden and will remain this way until Jesus returns. Suffering is a natural reality in a fallen and broken world.

Second, suffering often is a direct result of sin, our own sin or the sin of someone else. We are more willing to point out when the sin of someone else leads to suffering, but rarely consider that in many instances our suffering is a direct result of our own sin.

Third, suffering sometimes comes not from sin, but simply from our choices or the choices of others. I could not begin to count the number of times I have complained to my wife about something, only to have her point out that it was my choices that created the very thing I am complaining about. So often our children complain about having to deal with difficult things, without recognizing that the source of their difficulty was their own choice. This is the nature of free will and having the freedom to choose.

Fourth, some of our suffering and pain comes from the evil one. We see this in the story of Job — the evil one caused Job tremendous pain and the evil one, whether called Satan or the devil, is still at work in our world today.

Finally, sometimes suffering is just a part of life. Life happens.

While God does not cause our suffering, God walks with us in the midst of our suffering. In our suffering, we are never alone. In fact, it is in the midst of our suffering and pain that God is closest to us. In our suffering, Jesus mourns and hurts with and for us, and in coming to earth and suffering Himself, Jesus understands our suffering. Our God is not a distant God, especially in the midst of pain and suffering. I often remind myself and others in the midst of suffering that we are never alone. This is a key and important message for our children and youth.

So often we try to keep our children and youth from any kind of suffering, and when we cannot prevent it we try to fix it. This is noble and natural, but is not realistic. It is not the right way to help them grow and does not assist in their development. It is not healthy. It also does not prepare them for the reality that suffering is a part of life. It is a tremendous gift and opportunity when our children and youth have the opportunity to learn how to deal with pain and suffering while they are still with us, when we can still walk with them, guide them and protect them from irreparable harm, emotionally or physically.

Jesus never said we would be free of suffering. In fact, Jesus Himself embraced suffering — both to cover our sin and also as a model for us in our own suffering. Jesus consistently warned His disciples, those He taught and those who followed Him, that they would experience suffering. Jesus pointed out that by following Him, His disciples were likely to experience more suffering. In explaining the nature of discipleship in Luke, Jesus urges His disciples to “take up their cross daily and follow.” Suffering is a reality of life and a reality of following Jesus. It is something that Jesus experienced, helps us as we experience it and walks with us in the midst of our suffering.

In fact, God wants to take our suffering and redeem it, to make good of it. One of the most amazing things I get to see and experience as a pastor and follower of Jesus is how Jesus takes pain and suffering and makes good of it. Over and over again, Jesus never fails to take painful situations and circumstances and create powerful, beautiful, meaningful and profound moments in the midst of them. Jesus takes the most terrible outcomes and uses them for good, often drawing people closer to Himself in the midst of suffering. It is a reminder that our God is the God of resurrection and hope.

Recently, I was working with a family I had not previously met that was experiencing one of the worst kinds of suffering I know, the sudden and unexpected loss of a child. The circumstances in this situation added to the pain these parents were experiencing, and in moments like these there are almost no words to adequately share. As I spent time with them, walking with them in their grief, and preparing to lead the services for their son, I had the opportunity to share with them the truth of the Gospel that Jesus is with them in their suffering.

At one point, the father looked at me and asked, “are you saying that Jesus was with my son in this, his worst moment of suffering?” I told him that this was what I believed, and he collapsed on the floor in tears. It is a moment in my life and ministry I will never forget, especially as a father myself.

As we continued our conversations in the days and weeks after this tragic loss, one of the things I encouraged this family to do was to look for the beauty in the midst of this tragedy. I shared that the God of the Scriptures is a God of hope and redemption, a God who takes the most terrible of situations and makes good of them. I tried to point out examples of beauty I saw and heard in the midst of this tragedy.

Several weeks after their son’s passing, we were sitting in their home around their dining room table, talking and sharing some of the stories that came as a result of the tragic loss of their son. As I finished sharing one of the stories, the young man’s father looked at me, thanked me for sharing, and said, “Beauty in tragedy.”

While suffering is a reality of this life, we are not alone in our suffering. We worship a God who redeems all things, making beauty out of tragedy.

For more on this topic, contact Marcus at:marcusjcarlson@me.com or visit his website at revdrorange.com

Marcus J. Carlson is an ordained pastor (LCMC & NALC), with a Doctor of Ministry focused in fam- ily ministry. He currently serves as Senior Pastor at St. Mark’s Lutheran Church, Auburn, IN. He and his wife, Jessica, have two children.